Monday, July 25, 2011


Gonna perform some surgery. Of the arts. Fine arts surgery.
Gotta put the hollywood in Hollywood. Gotta get the glitz and glamour, riiiiiight?
First, let's examine the patient....

Oh yeah, those letters are an eyesore... 
gotta remove those alphabet nightmares and spruce that shit up...
Let's make some incisions and then remove the offending letters

"OH SHIT! WITH A BUTTERKNIFE?1?! Dr. Paul you can't remove no paper from board with a..."
"Shuyamouf. I do what I what. No parents no rulez.... I went to art school....."

OH BABY. Trace that shit out onto binders board for the 3-D effects, cut it out, file the edges smooth as a baby's bottom, and break out the adhesive mylar. Trace that shit with a KNIFE, SON.

"Oh, but Dr. Paul, how are you going to glamour-ize that "L" 
when it's covered by that golden lock of hair?"
"............ "
"i'm gonna trace it, dummy."

"But  Dr. Paul, how are you gonna..."



"Oh, Dr. Paul, you make it looks so easy!"
"Quiet, Nurse. You don't even exist."

Tuesday, July 19, 2011


I got back into the etsy game bitches. You'll catch me at the corner of . Etsy be trashin all my phoe-toez so check out my merch here if you don't want the shit that been stomped on.

Check it out if you be likin what i be sellin. 

Sunday, July 17, 2011


Still workin on the screen print and the painting so I got no pictures for y'all. Actually I made food all day. so yeah. no art. But if y'all didn't know, I worked as a book binder at Hope Bindery for 3 years before I moved to the BK. This is a piece I made just before I left Rhode Island.

Leather inlay with Moroccan goatskin leather with blind, gold, and color tooling. yeah baby.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Been really diggin' Triangle Forest recently... They're a band from PVD if you're not in the know (but I bet if you're reading this, it's prolly ol' news). But was listening to some of their newer tracks on repeat and felt inspired to make this. Oh, shout out to Einstein and his general relativity ish...

Here's TF's Facebook if yall interested:

Saturday, July 9, 2011


I figured I go ahead and do a detailed explanation (uh, tutorial... if you will) about how I make screen prints  in my spacious brooklyn kitchen, in hopes to inspire y'all to give screenprinting a good ol' college try. It's pretty fun, relatively cheap, and a great way to make a bunch of crap fine art. Hey, making prints gives you the chance to sell work, give to your friends, and spray adhere shit to your neighbor's car without that nagging guilt of loss!



IMAGE: That's like, your picture or whatever

FREEZER WRAP: I got this roll of restaurant sized wrap at good ol' Job Lot for four bucks or something redic like that. The restaurant size is key for this application, kid.

SCREEN: I have a dinky screen made by Speedball, America's favorite intravenous cocaine and heroin cocktail and screenprinting supply company. Victory Factory out of BK makes better screens for long term use, but the size and scale of this one works great for the ol' home-screener. Its slim frame stores away well, and it fits into a sink, tub, sink/tub combo, or toilet tank for easy cleaning. 

My screen has a 16" x 20" printing area, which just happens to be the perfect size for my compositions (11"x15")! Also, 11"x15" just happens to be two sheets of letter paper w/ overlap, so printing out a computer generated composition is a snap! And serendipitously, 11"x15" is also a quarter sheet of standard sized printmaking paper (22"x30").  Jeez! With all those random coincidences, it's almost like I planned out my compositions to be that specific size to save time and money... Good thing I didn't do that, cause a real artist would never let economics be a factor in his her his compositions!

SCREEN DRAWING FLUID: Should be called screen painting fluid. If spilled, should be called a horrible mess. This Speedball product is made of a solution of hair-ron, co-cane, and blue food coloring. Actually it's probably just corn syrup and smurf blood. I have not yet tasted this product. It acts as a resist to the apt, yet ambiguously named Speedball Screen Filler. That way you get duh pretty pict-cha when you put duh ink froo it. (If you don't follow this clear line of science and logic, I will explain it in the applicable post, duh)

SYNTHETIC BRISTLE BRUSH: Quardah inch Angle Shader, baby. Great for fine lines, filling of shapes, and expressive mark-making (<----- See, I went to art school). The Swiss Army Knife of brushes. Need I say more? 

3/4" MASKING TAPE: CAUSE YOU SO STUPID!!1! For adhesion purposes. Beige, with a grip that's firm, but also gentle. Like an oversized idiot caressing a kitten....


OK, first thing you gotta do is clean your screen of the stencil left over from your last print cause you're a lazy bastard who couldn't get that shit squared away a month ago. To the right you can see a bottle of "Speed Clean". This must refer to the narcotic jambalaya, because there is nothing speedy about this handy solution. I apply the stuff and forget about it while I google search my name for two hours and it still doesn't dissolve the stencil by the time I get to page 98. I used to use liquid dishwashing detergent (CHOICE, KID) but I think that it might have been causing buildup on the drain pipe. Cereally. I was showering in a puddle.


After your screen has been rinsed and dried, attach a large swath of freeze-tite or freeze-tite alternative to the backside of the screen using masking tape STOOOPIIIID in a sexpartite adhesion solution. The freeze-tite or freeze-tite alternative should run the entire length of the screen. Next, adhere your image, centered in the printing area, using a similar sexpartite method.


Some notes on Screen Drawling Fluid. If you buy this garbage wonderful Speedbawl product, buy the smallest size that they have. If you are fortunate. and in the six months since its purchase don't spill this on your sofa, where it creates an irremovable pud of dubious consistency (is it crispy? is it sticky? is it a god damned plasma? Hmm, I approximate that the dew point is appx. 68˚ today...) resembling the science project of a well meaning, but misinformed candy maker, then you will soon open your monochromatic container to a fuzzy, technicolor mold. Or perhaps it will have congealed into a cottage cheese of teal persuasion. Yum.


Alright. Class is over for today. Fix yerself up a glass of nice cold gansett or coffee or screen drawing fluid or flower juice or whatever sizzles your bacon. Next time we'll cover the hardest part of Ol' Scumbag Screenprinting, which is painting your screen, in a segment entitled: "THE HARDEST PART: PAINTING YOUR SCREEN".

Thursday, July 7, 2011


Been at a crossroads.... what with my screen still at the cleaners and my paint still out on the line. Figuring out shit takes time man! Real progresssss to come soon. Maybe I'll have some time for myself soon.